Feast of Thought (2)

Keywords: Lifestyle; Mentor; Communication; UN
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​Today's sharing is about career choice. We not only discussed about experiences and strategies of making life choice, but also experiences of being impacted by mentors (parents & supervisors). KW has the same struggle before she decides to do postdoc. She shared her view of worklife style as a postdoc, and ML concluded using a poem as below:

Life has different choices,
Like the squashes vary with colors and sizes.

Walk in the nature,
You look outside,
Fly in the sky,
or immerse in the modern light,
Sometimes messy, sometimes infertile.

Then you see the sign,
"Sluit Je Ogen".
A voice saying,
"Close your eyes,
Listen to your inner side."

Either a pirate or a postdoc,
all live locally but think worldwide.
A conference flight to share your research,
Or staying at home to save carbon footprints,
We balance the type of our impacts.

No matter how hard the life is,
sth great will finally surface,
Move on, move on...
Along the rail,
You will see the shining lights.

Life choice, salary or self-actualization?
We started the discussion with a personal experience as a close familiy of local field staff who works for refugee division of the UN. In the early 80s, wars incurred a lot of Afghan refugees which have been further intensified by Soviet invasions. The US-led attacks later catalyzed the emergence of Taliban/extremist groups in the Afghanistan. In order to provide the displaced civilians with food, housing and shelter, a UN staff has to go to camps to negotiate. The negotiation between military, government and local people has to be done using principles that may be against the values of educated people. (e.g. the existence of gender discrimination, or opaque business relying on personal relations). The security of the local staff is at stake, which makes  her close family worries all the time. The field work remote from home may also mean less time to be with her kids to facilitate their individual developments. This big sacrifice doesn't match the salary they are offered. Usually, local staff doesn't get equal reward as the international coordinator. However, it may be the sense of fulfillment and large happiness seeing people benefiting from their work that compels them to make such life choices.

Mentors may influence but not determine your future
We also discussed the influences of mentors (parents and supervisors) on our life choices. It is sometimes challenging to remain our true pursuit even with different expectations of mentors. Actually, the role of a supervisor is a guider instead of a teacher. Like in research, PhD students may have already formed their own bubble of knowledge in which supervisors may not have full scope. However supervisors are indispensable for individual growth, as they can share time-test solutions or point out potential risks based on their past experiences. More importantly, they may subconsciously influence our way of thinking and behaviors through daily life which may direct our futures. This personal impact is sometimes even more profound than the formal education in school. That's why it is important to select right mentors in your studies: your study experience may largely differ due to different gender, ethnic backgrounds and personalities of the mentors. Some may be straight and efficient, and some may be have loose track of work progress but are more considerate. Some may have more individual interactions but may be bound with trivial, while others may be good at delegation, but may give you less chance to discuss details or learn the personal experience through daily conversations. Still, it totally depends on the students themselves to select what to be learned and testify which ways are best for themselves. In the end, it is you not mentors that finally determine your future.

Be brave to communicate and challenge people's thoughts
While listening to different life stories, we always see the importance of communication to help us to get what we really want. You sometimes have to challenge others' habits, or mindsets which is not easy but may be very useful. Suppose you have a supervisor who is very pushed and worries about your progress all the time. If you want to be comfortable with your own working pace without the overwhelming pressure of your supervisor, maybe you need to think about communicating to them. For example, you can explain to him/her the price you have to pay if you are not working hard, and convince the mentor that you know the importance of the work to yourself and that have tried your best to make progresses. Also, the supervisors might think high technology has made it much easier for you to do research than for themselves back in the past. If so, you then have to challenge his/her thoughts. You shall get the supervisor realize that the current challenge for young generation is no less than the challenge the older generation came across before. Indeed, the effort we have to put on searching internet to sort out most helpful information from the tsunami of data nowadays is as challenging as, if not more than walking to the library to sort out the information from 6 volumes on bookshelves in the past. Communication is one of efficient ways for you and your mentor to best use their past experiences while embracing changes in new times.

Today is also Lantern Festival. We enjoyed some glutinous rice balls during the intermission. It is interesting to know that both China and Pakistan have unique traditions for this day: while Chinese traditionally make the paper light and light fireworks, Pakistani has a tradition of kite fighting. However, both fireworks in China and kite fighting in Pakistan are restricted nowadays considering their potential risks. But, who knows what will be changed in the future?

PS. This is the second FOT at ML' s place. We surprisingly discovered different sparkles of each star which could hardly be realized if not having this lovely gathering. It drives us to move the FOT further! We look forward to having more people interested in doing FOT, and taking turns to be the organizer!
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Something to share and interesting topics arised:
Slide presentation for the poem
Afghan in Pakistan
Book :  Kite Runner See Trailer here
Lunar calendar and Islamic calendar

Thanks to the sharing of MS and KW.